Not Enough

Insufficiency seems to be such a theme in the narrative of modern women.  I know it is mine.  From dawn to dusk there is a steady lapping rhythm of self-destruction.

Get up too late.  Barely get the hair and make-up done.
You aren't disciplined enough.  Why can't you be so cute and perfect all the time like those other girls?

Rush into work.  Lose patience with 20 sweet faces that are counting on you.
You let them down.  You let your God down.  You are here for love.  What was that?

Grade papers.  Cry over their failures, because truly they feel just like yours.
I'm not a good enough teacher.  Why do they not understand?

Come home.  There is a layer of dust on the furniture, and you can't quite recall the last time you vacuumed.  No dinner is cooked, and even though it is seven o'clock you don't yet even have a plan. 
Why can't you keep it all together?  Plenty of other working women don't have these problems.  

Friends call to hang out- friends that have your heart and are the people you walk this road of life with. But you can't. even. move off the couch. 
They will hate us.  They probably think we don't want to get together.  How am I ever going to keep up with our social life?

You stop long enough to think, and your brain moves to the baby waited for, but who is so naughtily tardy.
The one thing my heart wants most.  Am I not worthy?  Am I not good enough?  Probably not- I can barely handle my life now.

And then..as the thoughts swirl into a full out hurricane of desperation and failure, the smallest whisper calms it all.

My grace is sufficient.  My power is made perfect in your weakness.

Grace.  

His answer to all my inadequacies, failures, and frustrations.

Because my judgement isn't based on the perfection of my house or even the tally count of sins in my day. It is based on Jesus Christ alone.  His grace has covered it all.  And with a deep and profound thankfulness, I sink deeply into the truth.  All my inadequacies are only a speck compared to the ocean of his grace and forgiveness. 

 It is finished.  You can rest in me.